Following a game of squash yesterday, we were talking afterwards, and I asked my opponent, “What do you think would happen if you changed the way you grip your racket– if you made the racket face slightly more open?”

Our conversation went like this ….

He thought about it and said, “Why did you ask that as a question and not just tell me?”

ME – “Let me ask you another question – If you tell somebody to do something, who is responsible for the outcome?”

HIM – “The person who told you what to do!”

ME – “Exactly, so if I tell you to do something and you lose money or look silly, who do you blame?”

HIM – “The person who told me what to do!”

ME – “And if I asked you, what do you think YOU can do to make a change or do something, who owns the outcome?”

HIM – “I do”

ME – “Are you more invested in making it happen if it is your idea? “

HIM – “Yes”

ME – “Do you now understand why I asked you the question rather than told you?”

HIM – “Aaaaaaaaaaahhh, I see!”

In Coaching we don’t tell others – If we do, then we are not coaching we are mentoring, giving the benefit of our experience in a similar situation. Coaches are all about you and not about them and there must be trust.

It is the same with your business! You should trust your business partner(s) and when your business becomes big enough, you will need to trust your employees. Your staff will want to know that they are valued. Communicate with them face to face, speak to them like real people and not like you are superior and recognize and show appreciation for the work and effort that they put in.

I remember years ago being knocked out during an Army training exercise – searching and evacuating people from a burning building. When I came too, my officer in charge was standing there, and I expected a bit of a talking too. To my surprise, he simply asked, “What did you learn?” “To keep my helmet on in the future, Sir” I replied, and he patted my shoulder and said, “Let’s hope you do!”

That example of showing compassion and concern when I had made a mistake has lived with me since and I urge you to think about how you can use powerful questions to influence and motivate people to work with you.

As your coach, I want you to spend the next few days thinking about HOW you can ask questions instead of being directive and WHO do you think will be the best person to start trying this out on?

Often in times of difficulty we need someone to lean upon or to help us, an engaged and well-motivated employee could be just that person!

Remember, “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing what your coach told you to do the first time!”

Good luck with your great adventure – I will be over here should you need me!

Michael Jackson
Reporter
Michael Jackson is a passionate coach, trainer and public speaker. mike.jackson@elev8.coach